After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
