Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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