community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
