I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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