he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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