I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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