R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
