Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have fence marks all over my body
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
