I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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