So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my mouth tastes like poor choices
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
