I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I want her autograph on my taint
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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