All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
