I'm really into asian looking animals
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
