he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
