i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
