why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
