Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
