Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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