member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
