He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
