Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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