Betty ford says i'm here all night
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
