it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
