This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
