when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
