i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I want to be your penis for a week.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
