I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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