Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
