so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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