Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How does it feel to date your dad?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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