I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
