Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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