I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
