Duck Duck Cougar?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is wine microwaveable?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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