so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When are your genitals available?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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