We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
