So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
