It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
