we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
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