I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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