Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
