Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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