It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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