I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
