i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
