Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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