My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize