My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
