what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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