I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
