It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
