i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
